Open Letter to V-Day Organizers

Back to [V-Day Challenge 2002][1] main page.

January 7, 2002

Dear V-Day Participants,

My name is Emi Koyama, and I work for Intersex Society of
North America (ISNA). I am also a long-time activist against
violence against women, and I have volunteered for and worked for
various organizations that are struggling to stop rape, domestic
violence, and other forms of violence. Finally, I am the board chair
for another organization,
Survivor Project, which addresses the needs of intersex and trans
survivors of domestic and sexual violence. Like you, I respect and
appreciate very much how Eve Ensler has helped to re-ignite our
movement against violence against women through her plays and V-Day
the organization.

Imagine my disappointment when I went to see the local production of
The Vagina Monologues on last year's V-Day and witnessed my
and many other intersex people's experiences of intimate violation
trivialized and turned into a comical episode - or, to borrow Ensler's
phrase, "a wonderful vagina fairy tale." The portion in question goes:

"One girl in Oklahoma told how she had been born without a vagina, and
only realized it when she was fourteen. She was playing with her
girlfriend. They compared their genitals and she realized hers was
different, something was wrong. She went to the gynecologist with her
father, the parent she was close to, and the doctor discovered that in
fact she did not have a vagina or a uterus. Her father was
heartbroken, trying to repress his tears and sadness, so his daughter
would not feel bad. On the way home from the doctor, in a noble
attempt to comfort her, he said, 'Darlin'. We've got an interesting
situation. You were born without a vagina. But the good news is we're
gonna get you the best homemade pussy in America. And when you meet
your husband he's gonna know we had it made specially for him.'" [text
taken from the V-Day 2002 edition of the script; in the V-Day 2001
edition book, this is page 99]

The condition in which vagina is missing or not fully developed is
called Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser
Syndrome (MRKH) or vaginal agenesis. Genetic females (XX) with
MRKH do not have fully formed vagina, cervix, uterus, and/or fallopian
tubes. Causes are not known. MRKH and many other conditions that
result in atypical reproductive and sexual bodies are known collectively
as intersex, and it is estimated that about one in every 2000 child is
born with visibly intersex conditions.

Today, the standard treatment for intersex conditions involves
surgical and hormonal interventions that are designed to alter the
appearance of the body so that they look more "normal," but do not
necessarily address any particular health issues. These surgeries
are often performed when the child is too young to understand or
consent to what is being done to them, and they are rarely told
the truth about their medical history even after they grow older.

Even though these surgeries have been performed for the last fifty
years, there are no long-term studies confirming the effectiveness or
safety of these procedures; on the contrary, we have found, and recent
studies have confirmed, that such concealment-centered treatment on
genitals often result not only in physical scars, but also depression,
post-traumatic stress response, loss of self-esteem, and, of course,
loss of sexual sensation.

Many intersex people describe their experiences as a form of child
sexual abuse, and this is not far from the reality. Like other
incest survivors, intersex children are physically and sexually
violated by those we trust the most, those same people who claim to
have our best interest at heart. Like other incest survivors,
intersex children are told not to ask questions or tell anyone else
about our experiences. Like other incest survivors, intersex
children learn that there are something wrong with who we are, and
made to feel ashamed and guilty. And, like other incest survivors,
many intersex people are starting to break the silence and resist
the erasure of our experiences and the violence that haunt our lives.

In 1993, survivors of these intersex genital mutilation created
Intersex Society of North America to connect with other intersex
people and to take back the control over our own bodies. We believe
that intersex is not something so shameful that it has to be concealed
medically and socially. We believe that intersex people have the right
to know all the information currently available about conditions we
experience, and determine for ourselves what should be done to our
bodies.

Growing up different is always difficult, but it does not have to be
as difficult as we have been forced to live. We oppose the idea that
eliminating our physical differences is the way to address social
issues we may encounter as a result of being different; rather, we
believe in addressing social difficulties we may experience through
social and psychological interventions. Above all, we believe that
honest communication and the patient-centered medical protocol will
best serve our needs.

In The Vagina Monologues, the portion quoted above is read as a funny, "wonderful vagina fairy tale"; audience are invited to laugh hysterically to the father's exclamation. In the book (V-Day 2001 edition), Eve Ensler ends this "monologue" with the comment that she was "melted" by the love between the girl and her father. We feel that the play not only misrepresents our experiences as intersex people, but also trivializes our confusion and pain. It also suggests that women's bodies are made solely for their husbands, and that we should alter our bodies to match what is desired by them.

Many of us intersex people and our friends, family members, and allies went to see the play in the past, and came out upset, hurt, angry, and/or in tears, walking through a crowd of women talking to each other about how empowered they felt. We felt invisible, as it presented horror stories about genital mutilations occurring only in other continents, as if we do not experience them here.

However, we felt that it was not wise to "protest" the play or V-Day,
because they also do many good things: they empower women, raise
awareness about the violence against women, and contribute
financially to organizations that fight these violence. Instead of
staging protests, we decided to use this as an opportunity to raise
awareness of the experiences of intersex people, and to build greater
alliances with feminist anti-violence activists everywhere.

We invite you, as individuals and as V-Day organizers, to join our
movement to end shame, secrecy, and unwanted genital surgeries on
intersex children, as well as all other violence in the society. Read
the materials we have on our web site (/events/
vday) and participate in V-Day Challenge 2002, our national initiative
to make V-Day empowering to all women, including women with intersex
conditions. There are many things you can do to help us; here are some
of our suggestions:

Print out our handout, and include it as an insert to the program
at your production of The Vagina Monologues, or otherwise make
it available to everyone who comes to see the play. You can download
the handout in PDF (one legal-size paper; Adobe Acrobat Reader 4.0 or
higher needed) at the "Power Tools" section of our web site (/events/vday)
or request a hard copy from us.
Download and/or order educational materials about intersex from
ISNA (see the online store at
/store/), and use it to educate your campus.
Write an article about intersex in your newsletter if you have any.
Invite us to come and give a presentation about intersex. This
can be part of V-Day events or at a later date. We have given
presentations at many college campuses (recent schools include
Colorado College, Washington State University, Yale University,
Southern Oregon University, and Humboldt State University).
Write a letter to Eve Ensler and V-Day. Express your concern about
the script and to ask her to consider including more information about
genital mutilations that happen in the Western societies and damages
they cause.
Have your group endorse a resolution in support of the intersex
movement. A sample resolution can be found online at </library/resolution.html>
Donate a small portion of the proceeds from your V-Day events to
ISNA and/or Survivor Project.

We do not expect everyone to do all of the above at once (although
that would be awesome!), but we hope that you will participate in this
national initiative in one way or the other. If your group decides to
do any of the above or have any other ideas, we would love to hear
from you.

V-Day is not just a performance, but a movement - a global movement to
stop violence against women. As such, it needs to be held politically
accountable for damages it might inflict, however unintentional that
may be. I hope that V-Day 2002 will mark the begining of the
collaborative relationship between us, which will one day end the
violence against all women and children, including women and children
who have intersex conditions.

You can read more information about intersex, including "monologues"
written by women with intersex conditions, at our web site:
</events/vday> Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or comments.

Sincerely,

Emi Koyama <emi@isna.org>

Program Assistant, Intersex Society of North America

Board Chair, Survivor Project

(503) 288-3191 (Survivor Project voicemail)

# Open Letter to V-Day Organizers

Open Letter to V-Day Organizers